The Polymath Project | How Marriages Work | Day 2

 "Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day."

Through this blog, I will be sharing my daily experiences and insights as I embark on this journey to become a polymath. I will be exploring a diverse range of topics, from science and technology to art and literature, and sharing my thoughts and observations along the way.

The Polymath Project

How Marriages Work

• Relationships are evolving #1

  -- No longer fixed gender roles

  -- Dating scene has become more ambiguous

  -- Traditional gender roles still influence dating behaviors
• 2014 NerdWallet survey #2

  -- Studies show that gender roles extend beyond dating

  -- significant number of men paying all household expenses

  -- only a third of partners = split household expenses equally

  -- >35% of the men said that they pay 100% of the bills
• 2017 survey - Time Publication Money #3

  -- 72% of women and 85% of men still agree

  -- that the man should cover the check on the first date

 

Freedom and Autonomy

• Freedom in relationships #1

  -- because of absence of strict social rules and norms

  -- freedom allows for autonomy, banter, and unique decisions

  -- more challenging to navigate

  -- but offers the opportunity for deeper connections
• Idiosyncratic Relationship #2

  -- fewer predefined rules = relationships tailored to individual preferences

  -- ability to explore different behaviors
• 1950s model of traditional marriage #3

  -- historian Stephanie Coontz does a great job of shaking it

  -- television imprinted out mind with image of marriage

  -- man kissed his wife and then went off to the office

  -- stay at home wives

  -- this era was only like an eye blink in history

  -- For the major part of history we were farmers

  -- Farming = both men and women contributed hugely
• Single biggest social change - over last 50 years #4

  -- Convergence of the roles of men and women

  -- roles of men and women are more similar than they were in the past

  -- grandfathers never changed a diaper, grandmothers never had a career

  -- We now have a bigger overlap between each others lives

  -- deeper understanding of what the other person's day-to-day life is

  -- one sense (smell) is misperceived as another (taste)

 

 Age of Tinder and Bumble

• Paradox of choice #1

  -- No. of available options increases, your satisfaction decreases

  -- study from the year 2000 on grocery shoppers

  -- purchase increased when a display had six jams

  -- Lesser purchase for a display of 24 jams

  -- Known as Choice Paralysis

  -- Dividing items into categories helps ease this
• Unlimited choice in pocket #2

  -- Study done on people divided into two groups based

  -- Group1 - less committed to their current relationship

  -- Group2 - highly committed to their current relationship

  -- show them two dating profiles, and take reviews

  -- #1 - photo is hot, the interests are cool

  -- #2 - rigged to be not interesting

  -- Group1 = Person1 is amazing, Person2 is not so great

  -- Group2 - less sensitive to who could be really appealing partner

  -- Group2 - tendency to say no to Person1 is higher

 

Studies/Books discussed:

• Money Survey: 78% Still Think Men Should Pay for the First Date
• Who Pays? NerdWallet Study Finds Gender Roles Remain Strong Among Couples
• Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
• The Way We Never Were 
• Paradox of Choice
  

 

 A polymath is a person who knows a little bit about a lot of things

The road ahead is full of twists and turns, and I can't wait to see what lies ahead!

Keep reading. Keep thinking.
Set Big Hairy Audacious Goals.

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