Mindset - Carol Dweck - Summary

“We like to think of our champions and idols as superheroes who were born different from us. We don’t like to think of them as relatively ordinary people who made themselves extraordinary.” 

• Fixed vs Growth mindset
  • our mindset shapes our beliefs about accomplishing something
  • Fixed
    • think
      • they are born with the gifts
      • naturally capable of doing somethings
      • and bad at other things
      • a person’s abilities are set in stone
        • a person is either intelligent/talented or stupid/incompetent and will stay that way
      • talent is the king
    • life
      • is more black and white
      • if they fail at something, they blame others or run away from that
      • since they judge other, they feel others are judging them all the time
        • so they feel the need to show how talented and smart they are at every chance
      • they are more likely to hide their failures
    • example
      • they hope for an everlasting love relationship
      • rather than working on the relationship themselves
  • Growth
    • think
      • they can be good at anything
      • if they try enough
      • it’s only through practice and occasional failure that they can improve their skills
    • life
      • is in constant change
      • they can keep improving
      • they take any opportunity to learn new tricks
        • inherently they are not afraid to agree that they don’t know something
      • they welcome problems
        • problems = challenges that we have to overcome

         
        

 “no matter what your ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.” 

 

• What do you seek?
  • People with fixed mindset → seek approval
    • label everything as good or bad
    • think others label them as winner or loser
    • they are more focused on themselves
  • People with Growth mindset → seek development
    • they are more focused on how things fit into one another
    • they think of the complete picture, rather than just themselves
    • they help people near them develop too
    • change focus from individual success → group development

 

“John Wooden, the legendary basketball coach, says you aren’t a failure until you start to blame. What he means is that you can still be in the process of learning from your mistakes until you deny them.” 

 

• Failures
  • Fixed mindset
    • sees failures = disasters
    • single failure = they are losers forever
    • to retain the self-confidence
      • they make excuses - cheat - lose interest in the tasks they are doing
      • they don’t seek help
      • they don’t analyze they weaknesses
    • refrain from investing too much time into practice
      • because the more time they do something
      • the fewer excuses they will have if they fail
      • also they believe in the natural talent
        • gifted people shouldn’t need to try so hard
    • they can’t question their talent
    • example
      • Sergio Garcia - golfer
        • bad day - fired all his staff - blamed his shoe - took them off threw them at the audience in anger
      • Nadia Salerno Sonnenberg - violinist
        • very talented at age 10
        • at age 18 - someone pointed she is not holding the violin correctly - so she stopped playing it at practice in front of others
        • so she doesn’t look like a fool and her talented label is not taken away
  • Growth mindset
    • failures = opportunities
    • they see themselves as continual process and not a finished product
    • analyze their mistakes → practice to fix them → take advice from others
    • they question their talent
      • know that it’s only a part of what they can do
    • example
      • Michael Jordan - basketball
        • lost 26 winning shots - practiced them over and over again - next day showed up at the gym at 4am to practice shots he missed in the match last day
      • Christopher Reeve - actor
        • was paralyzed from neck down
        • went under a strenuous training program → took control of the situation
        • he moved his hands and then legs → one body part at a time
          

 

 “If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.” 

 

• Role Models
  • our mindset is strongly affected by the role models we have
  • young children have growth mindset
  • parents are the first influence they have to learn growth or fixed mindset
  • parents set the first example
    • fixed mindset parents → constantly judge their children - what’s right or wrong - good or bad
    • growth mindset parents → encourage their children to keep learning and improving
  • Research done on 3 years old babies
    • like parents - fixed mindset babies are annoyed by other crying children
    • growth mindset babies help other babies who are crying
  • Fav hero or cartoon can set the 2nd example
  • Teachers can set 3rd example

 

• Don’t label yourself
  • Example
    • you drop a plate
      • you think - “I’m clumsy”
      • or you think - “oh these things happen. let me clean this and i will be more careful the next time”

Off with you now! Back to reading.. 📖