Influence By Dr Robert B. Cialdini - Summary Part 1

“we all fool ourselves from time to time in order to keep our thoughts and beliefs consistent with what we have already done or decided”

• Want to be more persuasive?
  • Read this book if you want to hear YES.
  • It’s critical for personal and professional success
  • There are 7 universal principles that are scientifically proven to help you hear Yes more often
• Principles

  1. Reciprocation

     • example

       • ever replied “Happy birthday” to someone who wished you “happy birthday”?
       • ever invited someone to your house for dinner because they invited you to an event first?

     • it’s a natural feeling → to give back to those who first give to you

     • this feeling is so strong that most people give back even if they don’t like the person

     • This can be amplified if are more likely to hear No from the person

       • example
         • 1st group
           people were asked to do social service on weekend for 1 day | only 17% people said yes
           
         • 2nd group
           the same question got a response of 3x i.e. 50%
           how?
           they first asked those people for a much larger request.
           they asked people to sign up for social service work for the whole year.
           only when people said No, they were asked to do social service on weekend for 1 day
           
           

     • The more people you help → the more people will be open to giving back or helping you when you need it

     • This builds your network and multiplies your resources

       

       “A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.”

       
       

  2. Commitment & Consistency

     • have you ever backed down from something you said you would do?
     • you committed to do something but later said no when the time came?
       • the important thing is how did you feel after that?
         • bad
         • guilty
         • awful
     • We feel an internal psychological pressure and external social pressure to be consistent with
       • what we say
       • what we do
       • what we’ve committed to
     • The best way to use this is
       • stop telling people what to do
       • and start asking
     • When people feel they freely choose a decision → they tend to own the decision → and are more committed towards it
     • example
       • group1
         Govt. told people to go and vote → reminded people to vote
         no effect in the numbers of voting done in the region
       • group2
         People were asked if they were going to vote → they were asked what time will they reach the voting center?
         significantly increased the number of voting done that year
     • Should you make things easy?
       • as humans (especially parents) we tend to make things easier for our loved ones
       • but easier things tend to have a negative impact
       • The more effort people put into something → the more committed they become to the outcome
       • once we have made some effort our mind justifies that by making us do more
        
        

     “persons who go through a great deal of trouble or pain to attain something tend to value it more highly than persons who attain the same thing with a minimum of effort.” 

     
     

  3. Social Proof

     • we are hard-wired to live in groups

     • over the history living in groups upped our odds of survival
       this means we are heavily influenced by other people

       “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with,”

       “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”

     • We are impacted by how others are thinking, feeling and acting

     • How to use this?

       • The many

         • when lots and lots of people are doing the same thing → we give more consideration to doing the same thing

         • example

           • since everyone was watching the Game of Thrones → so you also started watching that
             
             
             

         • you mind justifies → everyone can’t be wrong

       • The similar

         • even if not a lot of people are doing something but people similar to us are doing it → we tend to do it

         • example

           • if i’m an athlete and i see other athletes drinking a particular brand of protein → then i tend to do the same

           • have you ever wondered why nutrition drinks take so many athletes in their ads?

             
             
             

         • Ever wondered why our parents are so concerned with who we hung out as teenagers?

           • they were right to worry about this

           • they knew that there will be social pressure on us from them and some of it might not be good

             
             

            

           “Since 95 percent of the people are imitators and only 5 percent initiators, people are persuaded more by the actions of others than by any proof we can offer.”

           
            

     • There’s one another important factor → uncertainty

       • when we are 100% sure about our actions → what others do have little impact on us
       • when we are unsure of what we have to do → we look to others to help make that determination
       • example
         • group1
           • a person acting → falls on the ground showing signs of distress in public
           • 3 actors standing nearby → keeps walking
           • seeing them other people also keeps walking and are very less likely to help the 1st person
         • group2
           • a person acting → falls on the ground showing signs of distress in public
           • 3 actors standing nearby → rush to help that person
           • seeing them other people also rush towards the man to help

 

Summary Part 2

Till then - Read India Lead India.